I tooted at practice the other night. And it wasn't one of those cute little, whoopsie-me-I-made-a-toot-s, it was big. HUGE even. And loud. Like a Carnival cruise ship pulling out of port.
FAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTT! AAAARRRT. AART.
(so not even kidding here).
See, that's yet another reason why training with Team In Training is so great - these people who are crazy enough to actually do the things that y'all are doing together? They don't care if you toot. (Or if you FART!) In fact, they're totally down with the fart. "Don't worry, it's just natural," they assure me as I hide the pink of my embarrassed cheeks. I digress.
Why am I bringing this up now?
Because practice was so-O painful for me today! And it wasn't solely from the exercise, but more so from the holding in of bodily functions.
I held a pee and a fart in for 90 minutes. 1150 meters.
Here are the things I realized on the drive home from swim practice:
You can't pee in the pool when you're with 20 other strangers. At home, no big deal. It's just your husband, your mother-in-law, that weird neighbor that keeps coming over uninvited... but when you're in a public pool, with strangers... actually swimming (as opposed to goofing around)... It's just weird.
I mean, first of all, it's gross. But more so, it makes you feel vulnerable. Like, in the people can see you peeing kind of way. (not that I even thought for one iota about peeing in that pool).
The other thing?
You can't fart in the pool. At. All. It's just way too obvious. Period.
So, my point(s)? And let this be a lesson to all y'all... 1) Train with Team In Training. 2) Don't pee in the pool. 3) Don't fart in the pool. 4) The Lord loves a workin' man. 5) Don't trust whitey. 6) See a doctor and get rid of it.
***P.S. Have y'all helped me find a cure for blood cancers yet? [wink]