Earlier this past week, our little rubio was sprayed by a skunk. And the house & dog have smelled like "burning rubber or plastic" ever since.
Poor little beedy-weedy isolated himself for the entire week, spending hours upon hours bored to death on his fluffly doggie bed and in misery--as I cannot imagine the torture of having to smell like skunk. I, personally, am very sensitive to smell. It's fairly ironic because my sense of smell is pretty bad. In fact, I hadn't even known that Bert had been skunked until Tim came home and told me. But when I can smell, it can mean the difference between a good or bad day. (I digress)
Tim thought that the smell would just eventually wear away. So we didn't do anything. For almost an entire week. In fact, just short by 12 hours... when I got bored and thought I'd Google "dog squirted by a skunk" just for the heck of it.
The very first article on the results page is this one. If you didn't click on the link, I'll have you know that in the article, it says (I highlight the parts that stand out) that
"The skunk's spray is not onlyextremely foul smelling, but it is very hard to get out of a dogs fur. Your dog may smell for quite sometime if you do not act quickly. A fresh spray smells so bad it burns your nose. The closest comparison I can think of is the smell of burning rubber or plastic. If you or your pet gets sprayed it is important to work quickly to get the skunk oil out and neutralized. If you do not act quickly the smell can last up to 2 years!"
I quickly relayed this information to Tim. Verbatim. As I read in horror.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'll shave him and bathe him and it will be fine."
I continued to click furiously through all the Google results. I learned that skunk spray is actually an oil and that it's best not to give the dog an all over bath as that would only spread the oil. Instead, it's best to treat the dog with a skunk odor remover or even Tecnu, a product used to get out plant oils like poison ivy & oak oils, on the affected area. I also read that one shouldn't let the dog sleep in his bed or get on furniture as the skunk oil will get into the fibers of said bed and/or furniture. Did I mention rugs?
Crap. Crap. Crap.
Again I relayed my concerns to my husband who remained determined to do it his way.
"Don't worry, flutie. This will work." He says as he kisses my neck. (His trickery to get me to agree with him)
"But the internet says..."
"Don't worry about what it says. Trust me. I'm smarter than the internet."
So I let him do it his way.
An hour later, Bert comes running down the stairs. First, I notice that he's bald. He looks like one of those Chinese Crested dogs, with a much prettier face. Then I notice the smell. The smell of what must've been THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF MY HUSBAND'S AFTERSHAVE, mixed with dog shampoo and... you guessed it, skunk.
I guess, as a result of our negligence, we're stuck with the smell of burning plastic for another two years. Life Lesson: There seems always to be harsh punishment for ignorance, realized or not.
Friends & family, be forewarned: when you visit the McD Hacienda, you will, more than likely, smell something weird. As we are now the test market for a fragrant new air de-freshner called Rancid Rubio. Top notes: Pierre Cardin men's cologne. (That's right, the same Pierre Cardin men's cologne that my husband has had and not touched for 30 years. I am so not exaggerating.) Middle notes: Finishing Touch Shed Control Oatmeal Dog Shampoo. Bottom notes: skunk.